Answered Prayers

1986
My first pair of glasses

I got my first pair of glasses when I was five years old.  I was the only member of my kindergarten class who wore glasses. And for the first time in my life I became self-conscious.  Every two years I was the lucky recipient of new frames as my prescription doubled about that often.  My eyes were rapidly getting worse.  I never felt cute as a kid.  I always felt awkward with my dull brown hair that vacillated between frizzy and limp, depending on how long it had been since my last perm.  And that was before I hit the inevitable awkward stage that we all get to endure.  The one where our teeth are too big for our mouths, and we haven't yet grown into our feet.  I was small for my age, and a late bloomer.  I lacked any sense of style or fashion in my homemade/hand-me-down wardrobe.  But I was comfortable in my identity.  And then I went to junior high. 

Some of my friends remained my friends but many did not.  I was not cool.  I was not "pretty and popular."  And that's ok.  I was kind to people.  I knew who I was.  I was a good person.  But, as every young girl, I wanted to be cute.  And I never felt I could be cute hiding behind coke bottle lenses.

The summer before I turned 14 I was offered a regular babysitting job.  While discussing my pay, my new "employer" asked me what I was going to do with "all that money."  Without hesitation I answered, "I'm going to buy contacts."   And that's exactly what I did.  I was still small and shy, had ugly hair and bad skin.  But at least I didn't have to wear glasses anymore. 

And I was content with my contacts for 15 years.  I loved them and was grateful for them.  My eye doctor frequently told me that I'd be a good candidate for LASIK.  I always smiled and sarcastically said, "Sure, someday when I have extra money laying around I'll remember that."  LASIK was always an unattainable dream.  Something that happened to other people.  Not me. 

About 2 years ago I started to realize that if I saved a little money here, and a little there I may actually be able to afford it.  It didn't seem too unattainable anymore.  So I waited until Nolan was born and then I called the best eye surgery center in the state.  I had my hopes up so high when I made that phone call.  I was so disappointed when they told me I'd have to wait until 3 months after I finished nursing Nolan before they would see me.  So I transitioned to soft contacts while I waited for another year. As soon as my waiting period was up I called again.  I scheduled my first consultation.  And I counted down the days.  About a week before my appointment I got Keratits.  I was still able to keep my appointment, but they wouldn't schedule my surgery date.  My eyes needed more time to heal from the Keratitis.  During this waiting time I had other unexpected medical issues arise.  So again we waited.  And waited.  And waited.  And now I have a LASIK surgery date scheduled.  Today.  I've been wearing my glasses for a week.  I've filled my eye drop prescriptions.  I've arranged for a babysitter and made Dan take the day off work.  But I don't dare get my hopes up.  There is still a small chance they will postponed my surgery again.  And I won't know until I get there.  They need to take one final look at my eyes. 

I'm nervous.  Not about having my eyes lazered, but about having my surgery cancelled again. My emotions have been running high this week. I think I've started randomly crying five times in the last two days. I know with certainty I will burst into tears if I have to cancel again.  I cried the last two times I had to cancel a surgery date.  



2011
My last pair of glasses



So wish me luck.  Pray if you are the praying type. First, that my eyes will be ready so it won't be cancelled.  Again. And second, that everything will go well and I will heal quickly.