November is National Adoption Month

I do my best to raise awareness and educate about adoption.  And each November I try to blog about adoption here.  I really don't have anything new to post about my own personal experience with adoption.  Well,  infant domestic adoption that is. 

I haven't shared much about my experience with adoption through the foster system.  Mostly because I've never done it.  I am not a foster mom.  But that's not because I haven't tried.  We almost adopted a foster child.  I'm still not completely sure why we didn't.  But that's a story for another day.  Today I want to share this video with you.  This video tugs at my heart strings. 

A Visit With Lisa and Family

One of the highlights of Tyson's birthday each year is the chance he gets to hang out with Lisa, his birth mom. This year we planned to meet at a park for a picnic dinner. Thanks to rain, we moved our little gathering indoors. We had a house full of Tyson's birth family. Lisa brought husband and three kids, her parents and her little sister. It was a lively group. We ate and visited while the kids ran amuck, screaming, giggling, wrestling, playing basketball, laughing, etc.

It was priceless.

One highlight of the evening was the cake. Lisa's sister made Tyson a one-of-a-kind Wild Kratts cake. It was awesome!

The details were adorable.

A Visit From Lisa

About a week ago I received an email from Lisa, Tyson's birth mom. She wanted to know if she could personally deliver Tyson's Christmas present this year. Tyson was so excited.

No, let me re-phrase that.

TYSON.WAS.SO.EXCITED!!!

She only gave us a vague idea of when she was going to come so Tyson had to exercise quite a bit of patience. In fact, due to weather and scheduling conflicts she had to re-schedule twice. Poor Tyson was about to go crazy.

The doorbell finally rang the afternoon of Christmas Eve. Tyson was suddenly a little shy and nervous (as he always is when he first sees her. It takes him a minute to warm up.)

He gave her a big hug and invited her in. They chatted about the fun things they had done during the holidays and exchanged gifts. She gave him his building set, Zoob (see previous post) and together they tried to build something cool.

She also brought a gift from her parents. Another perfect gift, a set of Magic Tree House books.

Tyson was really excited to give her his gift. And Lisa was excited when she opened it. He gave her a new pretty apron. He made sure it was red because he thought she would look pretty in it. It turns out, red is her favorite color. She was excited because she loves to cook (something they have in common) and doesn't have an apron. She's always wanted a nice one.

November Re-Cap

We made it through November! Now that I have completed my "30 Days of Thankful" and my Adoption posts for the month, we can get back to our regularly scheduled programing. I know you are all dying to hear what we've been up to. Haven't you?

Before you get your hopes up too high, I've got one more adoption post.

Here's a little re-cap of what we did to celebrate National Adoption Month:

We joined the Utah Adoption Council at Boondocks for some good clean fun. The boys enjoyed the arcade games, mini golf, and the race track. I enjoyed seeing so many beautiful families created by adoption. It was heart warming.

Tyson entered the Kiddie Art Contest at the r house. He drew a picture of us playing golf at Boondocks. And then, being the slacker mother that I am, I forgot to send it in! Oops. So when mrs. r said she was going to be judging the coloring contest at Blue Lemon nearby, I decided to drive his picture over myself.

I ended up have a lovely evening chatting adoption with some of the loveliest women ever, including mrs. r, herself.

(Me with my new adoption friends:Lindsay, Allison, Lachelle, Emily & Megan)

And at the end of the evening, mrs r. handed me this book for Tyson. She said he totally deserved to win the coloring contest.

Tyson was beyond thrilled when I told him that he won. His expression was a perfect mixture of disbelief and joy.

Happy National Adoption Day!

The White House declared November 20th as National Adoption Day.

Do you consider yourself pro-adoption? Do you want to be an adoption advocate? It's easy, really! Here are some things you can do to help advocate for adoption:

1. Speak up for adoption! Don't be afraid to talk about adoption with the people around you. Adoption gets a lot of bad press. Let's drown out the haters by raising our voices in support of adoption.

2. Blog about adoption. Tell your story. Share your experiences. Share the facts. Share the love.

3. Add an adoption button and/or link to your blog/website. There are several in my sidebar that you are welcome to steal. There are plenty more out there too!

4. Use Facebook to open discussions about adoption with friends. Give an adoption shout out today in honor of National Adoption Day. Post an adoption video on your wall today. How about this one.

5. Watch an adoption movie. Some of my favorties include Juno, The Blind Side, and Martian Child.

5. Contact your congressman on adoption issues. Sounds hard and intimidating, right? It's not! Here's something you can do today:
Go to this link: http://www.house.gov/ Enter your zip code +4 into the box in the top left corner to find your representative. Email your congressman. A current adoption issue is Expediting International Adoptions, specifically Haitian adoptions. You can copy and paste this message

"I am in support of helping expedite international adoptions, especially
those from Haiti at this time, and would urge the Congressman to pay attention
to this bill.

International Adoption Simplification Act – S. 1376 and
the Help Haiti Act of 2010 – HR 5283

Thank for all you do!"

It's that easy!

6. Participate in a fundraiser to support Birth Mothers. A few suggestions are

Blankets 4 Birth Mothers and Scholarships 4 Birth Mothers

7. For more ideas on how to celebrate and advocate for adoption click HERE.

Birth Parent Blogs

Here are some good birth parent links in no particular order:

A Birth Fathers Story

Dallas' Story Part one and Part two

Becoming Stefanie Despain

Bright Spotz

Mariel's Journey

The Happiest Sad

Mistakes Becoming Miracles

Sterling's Story

This is just the tip of the iceburg. There are many more blogs just like these. Birth parents telling thier stories. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But they are all pro-adoption!

Adoption Myths

There are lots of myths about adoption out there.

Myth #1 Only unwanted babies are placed for adoption.
Myth #2 Children always fare best when kept with their biological family.
Myth #3 Birth parents who place their babies for adoption are abandoning their responsibility and taking the “easy way out.”
Myth #4 Closed adoptions are best so the birth mom can "forget the child" and "move on with her life."
Myth #5 Closed adoptions are best for the Adoptee, so there isn't any confusion about who their parents are.
Myth #6 No one can love a child as much as the woman who gave him/her birth.
Myth #7 If Birth Moms loved their babies more they wouldn't be able to let them go.

I recently asked several friends from across the country about their thoughts and feelings concerning adoption. And while they each said they were "pro-adoption" They all had very different attitudes and opinions on the subject.

When asked how their life has been effected by adoption, I got answers like

• My friends adopted a baby.


• My mom placed her first child for adoption.


• I know someone who is adopted.


• A friend of mine place a child for adoption. They were recently reunited.


• My in-laws adopted their granddaughter.

I asked why they thought birth parents chose to place their babies for adoptions. The answers were

• When they feel it's the right thing to do.


• When they have a lack of love, support, finances, or education.


• When they are not emotionally or physically ready to care for a child.


• When they are brave in the acknowledgement that they are not ready to parent.


• When they are too young to parent.


• When abuse is involved.


• When they do not have the right lifestyle conducive to raising a healthy child.

When I asked what the easy way out of a crisis/unplanned pregnancy was I only got two answers

• Abortion


• There is no easy way out.

(I agree with the second answer, there is no easy way out. Abortion leaves deep emotional and psychological scars.)

When I asked if they thought a birth mother ever forgot a child she placed, every answer was the same: No.

I also only got one answer when I asked if no once could love a child as much as a biological mother. No

Then I asked some more "Hot-Topic" questions.

I asked "Do you think children typically fare better when raised by biological family in less than ideal situation (single parenting, teen parenting, poverty, etc.) or in a stable adoptive home with two parents?"

I received varying answers on this one. Most people said that a child would fare better in a stable adoptive home with two parents.

A couple people disagreed. They felt that a child fares best in a home where they are "wanted and loved," or "happy and well-cared for "regardless of the family dynamic.

These two answers subconsciously reflect Myth #1 Only unwanted babies are placed for adoption.

Truth: Birth Mothers want to keep their babies.

Truth: Birth Mothers love their babies.

Truth: Children raised by single mothers can be happy.

Truth: Single mothers can take good care of their babies.

However, statistics show that children who are raised in a stable, two-parent home fare better. (See this post)

I firmly believe that every child deserves to have a Mother AND a Father. Unfortunately many children don't get that opportunity. Due to many circumstances, including but not limited to death and divorce, this ideal is not reality for many people.

Again, I am not saying that children of single parents are less loved, or not as well cared for, or aren't going to succeed in life. They just have the odds stacked against them.

Moving on to my favorite Hot-Topic Question.

Most people will say 'yes' when asked if they would support a family member in placing a baby for adoption, but if you ask "Would you support your child in placing a baby for adoption? it gets a little more emotional. It suddenly becomes a lot more personal.

Many parents have a hard time stepping back and letting an adoption take place. Parents of birth parents are often more stable emotionally and financially. They often want to swoop in and "fix" the situation by offering to parent the child, whether it's long-term or short-term. Many people have a hard time letting go of a grandchild, imagining a grandchild being raised by someone else, strangers. I've even heard a women boldly declare that if their son's girlfriend tried to place a baby for adoption she would take that girl to court to stop her. The thought makes me sick.

This is exactly why I am so thankful for Tyson's biological grandparents.

Click here to read a birth grandmother's story.

Truth: Adoption is a very difficult choice.

Truth: Birth Mothers break their own hearts to give their child the best life possible.

Truth: Birth mothers deserve our love and respect.

Do you want to know more about these amazing women, known as Birth Mothers? Tomorrow I will post a link list of my favorite Birth Mother blogs. They are powerful to read.

30 Days of Thankful: Day 14

I am thankful for Adoption. Adoption is a beautiful thing. It is a miracle. It is a gift. And thanks to the beautiful gift of adoption I have my oldest son, who means the world to me. . . and two beautiful nieces and two adorable nephews. Many of my friends have become parents through the gift of adoption. My friend Rachel was able to give her daughter the gift of a family through adoption. Many children in my neighborhood are here because of adoption. Adoption surrounds my family on all sides. My world would be a very different place without adoption.

In honor of National Adoption Month, we spent yesterday with hundreds of other adoptive families at Boondocks. We had so much fun playing arcade games, mini golfing, eating, and driving bumper cars surrounded by some of the most beautiful families you've ever seen. I am so very thankful to be an adoptive mom. It's a title I wear proudly.

Of course, I wouldn't be an adoptive mom without a very special woman who chose to take the title of Birth mom. Tyson's birth mom is amazing. She didn't have to place Tyson for adoption. She could have kept him. She could have raised him. And she would have done a great job. But she knew he needed a father. She knew he needed more than she could give him. We were just lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time. I am eternal grateful for her.

The Car Analogy

November is National Adoption Month.

By now, you should all know how I feel about adoption. I've shared every aspect of our adoption experience.

Recently, I came across an adoption analogy for the first time. I would like to share it with you, compliments of mrs. r who originally posted this in 2007.

The Car Analogy

A young man and a young woman are out on the lawn outside of a very busy street. The child they are both responsible for runs out into the street. At the same time the couple becomes aware that there is a car coming at a very high rate of speed. There is no chance that the child will not get hit. The car is coming much too fast.

The couple as four options.

1. They can do nothing and watch the child get hit and killed by the car. The psychological memory of this inaction burned in their minds forever.
This is abortion.

2. They can both jump out and sandwich the child between them to brace the child for the collision. If they can stay together, there is minimal injury to the child. However, there is a 80-90% chance that they will split upon impact.
This is couples that try to stay together and/or get married because of a crisis pregnancy.

3. One of the parents can jump out in front of the car by themselves. Injuries to the child are more substantial.
This is single parenting.

4. One or both of the parents and run out into the street and push the child out of the way of the speeding car and into the outstretched arms of a couple on the other side of the street.
This is adoption.

However, in all of these options, even with adoption, the birth parents get hit by the car.

mrs. r continues to talk about how adoptive parents can help these sweet birth parent heal from being "hit by the car."

i imagined myself in this analogy, watching this wreck happen. mr. r and i were not the cause of the wreck. we are begging to be part of the solution with open arms and hearts. once tyson

{her son's name is Tyson too!}

was pushed out of the way of the speeding car, we watched his sweet birth mother get hit by the car and his birth father turn his back and walk away.
but, what do we do?
do we take the child and run away?
do we rush to her side to try and help her?
do we call 911?
how do we help this birth mother heal?
collisions like this are happening everyday, in every stake and in every neighborhood.
for every 16 adoptions there are 1,000 unwed births.
for every 17 adoptions there are 1,000 abortions.

This takes me back to the time of my Tyson's adoption. What did we do to help his birth mother heal? We were told that we could not heal her. We had to let her go through the grieving process on her own. But what we could do is keep our promises to her regarding the openness of our adoption. We were told to get pictures and a letter to her as soon as we could. Tyson was placed in our arms late on a Saturday night. By Monday, we had a heartfelt letter and a stack of pictures for her. Those letters and pictures continued frequently (as often as once a week) for quite some time. We never missed a letter. Sometimes they were a day or two late, but we always sent those letters, always with a good stack of pictures. Our letter writing schedule went through many stages, but we never changed without checking with her first. We sent gifts whenever it was appropriate.

I know we can never re-pay her, but I can do my best to try. I feel the most important way we can re-pay her is to raise her baby the best we can. We can repay her by loving her son as much as she loves him. We can repay her by raising him in the gospel, and giving him a strong family, a family with a father and a mother who love each other. That is what she wanted. That is what we are doing.

Tyson Loves Lisa

In honor of Tyson's birthday we had a play date with his birth mom, Lisa, and her family.

We met at Boondocks for pizza, mini golf and arcade games.

Everyone had a lot of fun.

This was the first time we had all the kids with us (six in all) so it was a little crazy.

Tyson loves seeing Lisa. He feels a great bond to her. I know he will always want her to be part of his life.

Tyson told me her son Gage is his favorite!

Those two have way too much fun together. They may not look alike, but they are two peas in a pod.

All the kids (minus Nolan, who insisted on being held all night long.)

I know it's emotional for Lisa to see Tyson again. But she has said again and again that she knows she did the right thing for herself and for Tyson when she placed him in our arms.

We will be forever grateful that she did.

Another One Bites the Dust

It is time to take yet another adoptive family off my sidebar!

Patrick and Lindsay recently welcomed home Miss Daisy.

Isn't she just perfect?!

Congrats again!

Happy {early} Mother's Day to Me!

In an effort to avoid getting another slip 'n slide, I bought my own Mother's Day present this year.

(In fact, when I told Dan that I bought myself this gift

Tyson leaned over and whispered in his dad's ear,

"Dad, I think we should get her a slip 'n slide."

No joke.

I told Tyson we could give his Dad a slip 'n slide for Father's Day instead.)

Anyway . . .

I've been eyeing this necklace for months.

I made myself wait until after Nolan was born just in case we changed his name at the last minute.

Isn't it beautiful?!

It's an r house Three-Name custom necklace.

In case you aren't savvy on adoption blogs, the r house is awesome.

They created this etsy store,

the r house couture

to help fund the contested adoption of their son, Gavin.

(They won, BTW!)

My necklace came in this lovely box with a message:

"thank you so much for your purchase and for being a part of r adoption story!"

and was accompanied by several adoption pass along cards.

Awesome!

I love this new generation of pass along cards.

Ours were so ghetto.

Seriously.

The r house couture is having a sale right for free shipping on items for Mother's Day and Birth Mother's Day. If you want to know more about the r house couture click here.

Good News

Do you remember this adorable couple?

They have an

exciting announcement

to make.

Did I mention I love Daisies?

Oh, and February is a great month for a birthday!

Adoption Questions Answered #3

Q: Do I prefer adoption over pregnancy or vice-versa?

A: After experiencing both, at least for me, they are

equal although very different.

.

If I had hard pregnancies or had a very difficult adoption my answer may be different. But from my own experience they both have their ups and their downs.

They are both painful and so amazing.

.

And both are totally worth it.

.

Adoption is a roller coaster with highs that are very high and lows that are very low.

It is exciting and special in so many ways. The road of adoption is filled with many monumental steps: the day your profile is approved, the day you are chosen, the face to face meeting with your child's birth mother and family, the day your child is born, placement, finalization, and your sealing day. All are a cause of great joy and excitement. An adopted child is also a bit of a novelty for friends and neighbors. I remember Tyson being treated like a celebrity in our neighborhood when he was a baby.

.

Adoption is also very hard. The approval process can be very demeaning. Proving to countless strangers that you are worthy to be a parent can be insulting and even embarrassing at times. It doesn't seem fair that adoptive parents must prove that they are healthy enough, they want a baby for the right reasons, that they have enough money to provide for a baby, that their marriage is strong enough, that they don't have a criminal background, etc. It is especially difficult when you see people around you who aren't healthy enough, who don't have enough money, who aren't in stable relationships, etc. be able to conceive quickly.

.

The adoption process robs you of your sense of control. Your desire to be a parent is at the mercy of other people. Not just the adoption agency and other professionals who declare you fit to be a parent, but the birth mothers as well. It's hard to know your life is on display for public viewing, your every word being scrutinized others. After you are chosen by a birth mother, she can change her mind at any time. You may feel as if you are walking on egg shells trying to say the right things, for fear that she will shatter your dreams of being a parent.

After placement, you must continue to prove to social workers that you love your child and are bonding well. And at the end of the trial period, you must declare to a judge that you love your child. And even after all this the world will qualify your child as your "adopted child" or say that you are not a "real mother".

.

But in the end it is all worth it.

.

Pregnancy has it's highs and it's lows as well, although they are not nearly as dramatic as adoption. It's is full of exciting days as well. The day you discover you are pregnant, announcing to family and friends, hearing your baby's heartbeat, having ultrasounds, feeling your baby move and kick, baby showers, doctor's appointments, the day your baby is born, bringing your baby home, etc. are all times of excitement. And lets not forget the special treatment from strangers when they see your expanding belly.

.

You never have to prove to anyone that you are the child's mother.

But in the middle of all the exciting days you also experience a loss of control. You lose control of your bodily functions, lose your appetite, lose your energy, lose your waistline and subsequently your wardrobe, etc.

.

Pregnancy is painful. Childbirth is painful. Recovery is painful.

.

But in the end it is all worth it.

.

I heard it once said that adoption is easier on your hormones,

and pregnancy is easier on your heart.

.

I love them both and consider myself very lucky to have experienced both.

I honestly hope I get to experience them both again.

Adoption Questions Answered #2

Q: Do I think Tyson will have issues being the only adopted child in our family?

A: Yes and No. I think issues will arise that we will have to deal with that a 'traditional' family wouldn't have to deal with. But no, I don't think he will have issues severe enough to warrant professional counseling.

...

Tyson asked to meet his birth mother as a result of seeing women in our family (including me) go through pregnancies. He understood the concept that babies grow in a mother's stomach, but knew that he didn't grow in mine. He felt a desire to find the woman whose stomach he did grow in. Once that need was satisfied he was at peace. Having a relationship with her was all he needed.

...

Tyson is already at the age where he understands adoption and asks a lot of questions. He has asked,

"Why don't I live with my birth mother?"

and

"Why didn't she keep me?"

I have been able to answer these questions with complete honesty. But there will come a time when my answers won't be good enough anymore. Then he will have to turn to either his birth mother or his Heavenly Father to answer his questions.

His adoption was her choice, and it was a part of His plan.

I know this.

Someday Tyson will have to come to that same realization for himself.

...

We like to celebrate Tyson's Adoption Day (which, ironically, is next week). We usually give him a small gift or do something fun as a family that day. I wonder how Preston and future biological children will feel, not having an adoption day (and sealing day) to celebrate. We will likely phase out the gifts and focus more on making it a special family day to spare hard feelings and lessen the difference between adopted and biological.

...

In short, we have always been honest with Tyson about his adoption. We try to focus on his adoption as an event in his life, rather than a part of his identity. I say, "Tyson was adopted," not "Tyson is adopted." My children are my children. I want them to all feel loved and accepted for who they are. We focus on our love as a family, instead of our differences.

...

And, who knows, maybe Tyson won't be our only adopted child.

We don't know what our future holds.

Adoption Questions Answered #1

Q: Do I feel a different connection with Tyson than I do with Preston. (Not do I love one more than the other, but do I feel a different type of connection)?

A: I have thought long and hard about this question. It has really stuck with me. It's interesting because I only have two children, one is adopted and one is biological. I love them in different ways.

Are the differences due to individual personality and age or are they due to the way they came to me?

When this question was first asked to me Preston was still a baby. At the time I felt a stronger connection to him. Was it because he was my flesh and blood? As he has grown I have noticed that connection change and become more like the connection I have with Tyson.

Here's my hypothesis: A mother will typically have a stronger connection with a baby than with an older child due to a motherly instinct to care and protect a helpless infant. As a child grows and no longer relies on a parent for constant care and protection the bond between parent and child weakens.

Does that make sense?

I am still very self-conscious about this. I am always monitoring the way I parent them. Am I more lenient with one or the other? Do I favor one over the other? I never want them to wonder if I was playing favorites.

I think having a third child will help.

Instead of it being Tyson vs. Preston it will be the big boys vs. the baby.

Adoption Q&A

I feel like I've shared my adoption experience with you the best I can. But I wanted to open this blog up to questions.

Is there anything you wonder about, unsure about, or just want to know?

Feel free to post your questions in the comments section.

Example questions:

*Someone once asked me if I feel a different connection with Tyson than I do with Preston. (Not do I love one more than the other, but do I feel a different type of connection).

*Someone else asked me if I thought Tyson would have issues being the only adopted child in our family.

*Another question I've received is whether I prefer adoption over pregnancy or vice versa.

Would you like to know the answers to these or any other questions?

Feel free to ask.

I'm So Excited and I Just Can't Hide It

Do you recognize this cute couple?

They have been in my sidebar for several months now.

Two weeks ago they were contacted by a sweet birth mother who has chosen them to be the parents of her precious baby boy.

Now they wait. . . .

Wait for him to finish baking!

I love a good adoption story!

Click over to their blog for all the juicy details and to give them some love.

Welcome Baby Mason!

This week this family

welcomed it's newest member!

Baby Mason

Isn't adoption great?!

I'd send you to their blog, but it's private.

So feel free to leave congrats here.

I {Heart} Open Adoption

We have an Open Adoption with Tyson's Birth Mother.

The term 'open adoption' is evolving. Ten years ago an open adoption simply meant that a birth mother could choose the family in which she wanted to place her child. She typically didn't know their last name, or where they lived. They would only meet once or twice, if at all. Correspondence post-placement was very limited and often non-existent.

Fast Forward to 2004. The open adoption we entered into with Tyson's Birth Mother was fairly progressive for it's time. She knew our last name before we ever met. She knew where we lived. Our first meeting took place at an Italian restaurant when she was about 4 months along. I attended a couple prenatal appointments with her, including her 20 week ultrasound where we discovered he was a boy. I met her mom and other family members before the birth. At placement we met even more of her family as she placed her infant in our arms.

That was the last time we saw her. We wrote her very often, sending tons of pictures. We sent her flowers when the adoption was finalized. We continued to exchanged gifts for holidays and Tyson's birthday over the years. All of this correspondence was sent through the adoption agency. Even though we both knew how to contact the other directly, we chose to respect each other's space and privacy.

Tyson has always known he is adopted. He loves to hear the story of his birth. He has pictures of his Birth Mother in his bedroom. So, it wasn't too surprising when he started asking when he could meet her. When he first asked I said, "Maybe someday." But he kept asking. I knew he wasn't going to drop it. After working up the courage, I wrote her a letter letting her know that he was showing interest in meeting her. I did my best to phrase the letter so as not to put pressure on her if she wasn't ready. Tyson was thrilled when she wrote back agreeing to meet.

We made reservations at a restaurant of Tyson's choosing and arranged to meet her and her family there. I admit, I was so nervous: nervous about what we would say, what Tyson would say, how this would change the relationship we have with her. And as silly as it sounds I was scared that Tyson would like her better than me. After all, I'm the mean mom who makes him clean his room and sit on time out. I was a nervous wreck until about three hours before the meeting when I was suddenly filled with peace. I knew everything was going to be OK. I knew that this was going to be good for Tyson.

As we entered the restaurant Tyson was quickly greeted by his Birth Mother and her family. I think Tyson was a little overwhelmed. He shyly handed over the roses he brought for her and a Spiderman picture he had drawn for her earlier in the day. He gave her a hesitant hug and then clung to my side. I know this is completely selfish, but it did my heart some good to know that I was still his safe place, his comfort zone. As we were being seated Tyson insisted on sitting right next to his Birth Mom. He loved being near her, and even followed her to the salad bar. We talked and visited for about two hours. We agreed to get together each year near his birthday.

Tyson is anxiously looking forward to it.

And so am I.

Tyson & His Birth Mom

Tyson with both of his Moms

Open adoptions have come a long way in the last 5 years. It is very common now for adoptive couples to email, text, call, and visit with birth mothers on a regular basis. An open adoption can be very beneficial for the child. Tyson will never have to wonder where he came from, or if his birth mother still loves him and thinks about him.

He knows.

Tyson's birth mother will never wonder if Tyson knows who she is and how much she loves him.

She knows.

The key to a successful open adoption is honesty and communication. Both sides must be honest about what they are and are not comfortable with.

If you would like to know how birth mothers feel about open adoption click here.