Q: Do I think Tyson will have issues being the only adopted child in our family?
A: Yes and No. I think issues will arise that we will have to deal with that a 'traditional' family wouldn't have to deal with. But no, I don't think he will have issues severe enough to warrant professional counseling.
...
Tyson asked to meet his birth mother as a result of seeing women in our family (including me) go through pregnancies. He understood the concept that babies grow in a mother's stomach, but knew that he didn't grow in mine. He felt a desire to find the woman whose stomach he did grow in. Once that need was satisfied he was at peace. Having a relationship with her was all he needed.
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Tyson is already at the age where he understands adoption and asks a lot of questions. He has asked,
"Why don't I live with my birth mother?"
and
"Why didn't she keep me?"
I have been able to answer these questions with complete honesty. But there will come a time when my answers won't be good enough anymore. Then he will have to turn to either his birth mother or his Heavenly Father to answer his questions.
His adoption was her choice, and it was a part of His plan.
I know this.
Someday Tyson will have to come to that same realization for himself.
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We like to celebrate Tyson's Adoption Day (which, ironically, is next week). We usually give him a small gift or do something fun as a family that day. I wonder how Preston and future biological children will feel, not having an adoption day (and sealing day) to celebrate. We will likely phase out the gifts and focus more on making it a special family day to spare hard feelings and lessen the difference between adopted and biological.
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In short, we have always been honest with Tyson about his adoption. We try to focus on his adoption as an event in his life, rather than a part of his identity. I say, "Tyson was adopted," not "Tyson is adopted." My children are my children. I want them to all feel loved and accepted for who they are. We focus on our love as a family, instead of our differences.
...
And, who knows, maybe Tyson won't be our only adopted child.
We don't know what our future holds.
3 comments. . . I Love Comments!:
Thanks for sharing. I think your future will be great.
I love that you say "was adopted" rather than "is adopted." Thank you for sharing-I love hearing about your adoption knowledge!
For us we still celebrate all our adoption days. Anika being biological chose the day after Mother's day as her special day to get a gift or do something special as a family. It is actually the day we found out we were going to have her. My children like Tyson are figuring life out and I think mine might be easier to deal with because Adoption for my kids saved their lives. With Tyson it was a little different. Reading that it will be his adoption day next week, has made me so excited for Baby Mason to get adopted in January! Thanks for getting me excited!
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